So many of you have commented that you can't believe how well I'm doing that I feel compelled to fess up a bit. Both Bob and I are in total doing well, and under the circumstances, I do feel good about the plans to treat the tumor most of the time. All the same, I've had times when I've cried for hours and times I became angry about minor issues. Bob had to use our old Lamaze techniques during a completely painless PET scan to literally get me through the test. I share this as I don't want anyone to have images of me as a saint (I'm not), or to feel that they should be handling their own challenges with ease, since they don't have a brain tumor. We all have our challenges, and this happens to be mine. Here's what I feel I needed to learn most this week:
"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called You to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.
1 Peter 5:6-11
In The Screwtape Letters, C.S. Lewis writes about God wanting us to accept with patience the difficulties we have been dealt, and that the true cross we need to carry is not simply the problem, but the also our anxiety about the problem. In my case, the anxiety about the tumor may be more the issue to deal with than the tumor itself. Dealing with the tumor will largely mean showing up to treatments and taking care of myself physically. Dealing with the anxiety is going to require a day-by-day, minute-by-minute focus on God.
To More Faith,
Amy
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4 comments:
Dear Amy,
My prayers are with you. It's a difficult and long road ahead, but God is with you, and He will carry you through. We were not put on this earth to live in paradise, but rather, we're here to suffer that we may learn and be redeemed later on. Don't worry. :) Christ works wondrous miracles, and His love and mercy will make you and your family stronger.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Isaiah 41:10.
Keep strong! Take care!
-MC-
I see Jesus.
Hi Amy -
Just checking in to see how the treatments are going!
I loved your post about the boys - so like them! I love how well Aiden can quote the bible too.... we are still learning our Our Fathers here!
Anyway, I hope you are all doing well and the treatments are going well! Send me an update via email when you get a chance.
Our prayers are with you!
Sue
Dear Amy,
I recently heard the news and I want you to know that I'm praying for you and your family. I know you are currently in the treatment cycle and I pray for health and strength for you during this time. I know God, your family and your friends are there to support you. Christ is amazing and I pray that you continue to feel his strong presence.
Connie Olson (Takahashi)
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